My most embarrassing moments.

My wife's friend Rachel was over hanging out and Em went to take Haley to school. She left the kids with Rachel and I was in the other room sleeping after a graveyard shift. I stumbled out in my G's in front of Rachel and she hurried and shut her eyes and yelled, "I'm sorry Jake!!" I was so out of it that I didn't realize what I had done until later in the day. (yes they were silkies and slightly see through).

On New Year's Eve two years ago we had our friends Ben and Mandy over and Abbey was there too. We were playing Cranium and I was holding a newborn Ashley in the chair at the table. All of the sudden we heard a crack and I was on the ground. I somehow managed to hold onto Ashley but I got harassed all night about that.


I was on top of my line at work and I had some really bad gas. I decided to let one rip because nobody was up there and as soon as I did my foreman came up the stairs walking towards me. As soon as he got to me I just broke down laughing and he turned and walked away.


I was in the 4th grade and there was about a couple of minutes left before the last bell and the teacher wouldn't let me use the restroom because it was almost time to go home. I ended up peeing my pants and then I went outside and in front of everyone I was walking home with I decided to jump in the snow and roll around like I was having a great time playing. I probably looked like an idiot but nobody knew I peed my pants.


When I was about 12 or 13 and I was with Brittany and Sherrie at Lagoon and I was so terrified to go on any of the rides that I went on the Haunted House ride over and over again all day long.
I still have fond memories of that Haunted House.

I was so nervous when I was on my first date with Emily and we were sitting in the movies and I was shaking my leg really bad and Emily asked me if I was Ok and I told her, "I'm just really nervous right now." and she said, "Why?" and I said, "Because I want to do something that I am scared to do." and she said, "What would that be? " and I said, "I want to hold your hand." She was nice enough to let me. How pathetic was I?

Back before we had any kids Emily use to beg me to dance for her. I would dance really inappropriate and crazy just to make her laugh. I managed to get both feet up on the hallway wall and I managed to put my foot straight through the wall. Now try explaining that to people. It was in the shape of my foot perfectly.

When we were looking to buy a house we went to the Hansen's house that was in our ward and I managed to knock over a HUGE potted plant that was on the ledge above the stairs. It fell to the bottom and shattered everywhere. They were so nice about it and I was so embarrassed. We didn't even end up buying their house either.

Emily and I were over at my Mom's house with our dog Buddy and we were all hanging out in the front yard. Chance and Buddy were playing with me and all of the sudden they both turned on me. One grabbed my arm and one grabbed my leg and they were tearing me apart and everyone just sat there talking and not realizing what was going on. Finally my Dad noticed and managed to get them off of me. Buddy's never played rough before or after that and it was a surprise. I think they were just feeding off of each other and getting more and more aggressive. Be aggressive, be, be aggressive.

Emily and I were just starting our relationship and we were at her house sitting on the couch looking at the Christmas tree and we were talking about kissing. I asked her if she liked it to happen spontaneously or if she liked the guy to ask first. She said she liked it when they were spontaneous and at the moment I went in for the kill. We still laugh about this. Yes, I was very inexperienced. Emily was pretty much my first real serious girlfriend.


I received a gift card to go to Market Street Grill and Emily and I were there and we were trying to figure out what we could order with our gift card. We were really broke at this time so we were trying to figure out how to not go over the amount on the card. When the waitress came over I asked her how much the drinks were and she had no idea. She started to walk back to ask and Emily told her, "Don't worry about it, we'll have two Cokes." Emily was so embarrassed. I think the waitress knew that we had never been in a fancy restaurant before.


My friend Ben was over at our house and I was talking about one of Emily's girlfriend's and I somehow said to him, "Ben, too bad you didn't marry her. We would hang out all of the time." Him and Emily just stared at me in shocked silence and Emily tried to rephrase it for me. Sometimes I am like my father and I speak before I think.


When I was about 12 my Uncle John and his family were visiting from Arizona. He started to wrestle with me and he pinned me and I freaked out. I HATE being pinned. I was begging him to get off of me and he wouldn't. So I reached up and grabbed his glasses and smashed them. That got him off of me! My Mom was so mad at me. I still don't regret this.


My mission president told me before I went home that it doesn't matter what kind of voice you have you should sing a hymn that represents your testimony. Obviously he's never heard me sing before. When I was reporting about my mission to a ward in our stake I attempted this and let's just say I regret every moment of this. Hopefully nobody remembers this.

When Emily and I were going to get our engagement pictures taken we were walking up the stairs to the studio and the photographer started laughing and pointed out that I had a HUGE split in my pants. Needless to say it was very embarrassing.


One day Ben and I were playing video games and Emily walked in and noticed that I had huge sweat marks under my arms and she asked me why and I told her that the game was very intense. Her and Ben now check my pits every time we play games. They still won't let this go

I went to a work party a couple of years ago and they were singing karaoke. If you know anything about me you know I won't back down from a challenge and I am always trying to be a goof. They were going through the song book and stumbled upon "I touch myself," and begged me to sing it. Let me tell you, I got into the performance. They still tease me about it at work.


When Emily was delivering Ashley I had the perfect spot to start recording and I didn't notice that I had forgotten to hit the record button. I got it all right after the delivery because I noticed quick enough, but I missed the actual birth.

A bunch of us were going to the movies and I had just barely gotten my license and my parents let me take the van. I was hitting the brakes to make the car bounce to be funny and these gangster kids jumped in their car and started chasing us. We started running from them and I hurried and pulled into another neighborhood and we all ducked down because we thought they were going to kill us. Luckily we are still alive. Yes- Emily, Brittany, Darla, Seth and Dirk were all there.

One more Lagoon experience. Two years ago we went to Lagoon with Rachel and her kids and we took the kids on Puff and I got talked into going on it with Haley. This was my first roller coaster experience. I was terrified and Haley was laughing and having fun. Emily and Rachel died laughing at me. Last year I did manage to ride the white roller coaster and I don't know if I will ever do it again.

I went with a couple of my buddies from work to go and see, "The Grudge." They still tease me really bad because in the middle of it I scream like a little girl.

A couple of month ago we were driving to my in-laws for dinner and I noticed halfway there that I only had my jacket on and my garment top. We hurried and pulled into my parents house and my Dad let me borrow his "World's Greatest Dad," shirt and the Filby's all asked me about my shirt because that is not my style. I had to admit that I forgot to put a shirt on.

After Emily's bridal shower I went over to visit at the end and I was talking to Tara and Shian and they said something about how it's so awesome that I was marrying Emily and I said, "Someone had to." This is another one of those cases where I think before I talk, and I still feel stupid for saying that. I was trying to be funny and it came out wrong. I am very lucky to be married to such a sweet wife.


There are many more experiences but these are the only one's I feel comfortable enough to share.

Work, home, and family.

Managing work, home, family and Church is not the easiest thing to do anymore. Ever since taking a higher position at work, excepting a position in the Elders quorum and having three rambunctious girls of various ages, life has gotten "crazy". I try to take a little down time with the family, but then that means that more will be put on my wife's shoulders (we all know what stay at home mom's go through on a daily bases. She does so much for us; The shopping, constant cleaning, cooking and dealing with the emotions of an 18 month, 4 year old and 6 year old. Also the constant messes, attitudes and the relentlessness that all kids have, so when I'm off I always try to kick her out of the house and go have a little away time from the kids and the house.), and I try to do as much as I can to relieve some of her burden.

Then there are the many projects and the partial projects. Everything is coming along great. The yard's looking better, rooms are almost all painted, the garage is almost cleared out and the laundry, well that is just endless (we do have a good system, I wash, she folds). I really want to put my focus in our yard, the view from the deck is awesome. I just put some seed out back, hopefully it take! (we have weed and feed, but what we really need someone to come up with is a weed, feed and seed mix, than you only need to go over your lawn once).

Seems like (for the most part), life is finally starting to calm down and we're able to take a little more time for our selves. Work on the other hand is not calming down. It seems like someone always wants some time off and I need to cover it. And all the endless meetings, I tell you it's worse then church, and I don't know how they manage to drag 30 minutes (of important things and tools to use) over 4 and a half hours. I think the worst part of work is the gossip, it's bad, from management to production workers, relief society doesn't even compare. The funny thing is amongst the chaos and crazy work, I actually like doing what I do for a living, If it came down to it I would always pick family over work, if I could, but I do like my job and the different responsibility I have there.

I am glad the weather is finally getting nice, it's time to do some camping and fishing, and perhaps for the first time in my life I will go ride a 4 wheeler, I've been on the back of one but never drove one before. A lot of my buddy's own them and invite me out often, maybe I'll take them up on it.

Time to stop the rambling, although it is fun and a form of stress relief, I don't want to make this a Marathon blog that just goes on and on with no real point to it, you know what I'm talking about, after a while It all just sounds like jabber and you think "ya, you could end it now", any minute that would be great, but no.. it just goes on and on to the point that it is now ridiculous. And I really don't want to be one of the many ramblers, just say what you have to say and leave it at that, yup! that's me, not known for a men of many words, just gets straight to the point.

100 things about me.

1. I am going to leave this one blank because my wife will get seriously mad at me if I say anything too inappropriate and embarrass her too much. In fact maybe I will leave the next five blank.
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6. I have garlic breath quite often. No really, I love salsa that much. I don't think my wife is too fond of it though.
7. My favorite color is green.
8. I thought I was going to marry a girl from my mission but luckily Emily came around and changed my mind.
9. I love fishing. It doesn't matter if I catch a fish or not.
10. About once a month I get together with my friend Ben and play video games. (you can't take all of my youth away from me.)
11. To say that I have road rage is an understatement. My wife gets very upset with me.
12. I love steak. I have to have A1 with it.
13. Family is everything to me.
14. Unlike my wife you do not wake me up in the morning. I am not happy and I hate when people flip the lights on.
15. I love my job but don't care for the overtime.
16. I don't like being alone. If I have to go to the store to just get one item I beg my wife to go with me.
17. I look forward to nine o'clock at night. My wife goes downstairs and plays on the computer and my kids go to bed. The house is finally peaceful.
18. I love yard work.
19. I have a knack for problem solving.
20. I push myself hard at anything I do and I am too much of a perfectionist.
21. I use to do a weird thing where I would have to say excuse me five times until it sounded right, and every once in awhile when it comes to my mind.
22. I have have an order to everything I do, from brushing my teeth to taking a bath, cleaning the house, getting ready in the morning (I get right out of bed when my alarm goes off. Go to the bathroom and brush my teeth, put deodorant on, clean my ears, run product through my hair, go downstairs and put on my shirt, pants and socks. Then I go upstairs and warm up the car. Back to the kitchen to pack my lunch. Sit on the couch for five minutes and then I think the car's warm enough and I go to work. Repeat.)
23. I'm a very outgoing person and I like to make people laugh.
24. I love car rides.
25. I really don't show a lot of emotion to anyone but Emily.
26. I don't throw any clothes away. I have really worn out clothes that I keep.
27. I don't like it when Emily buys me things.
28. I don't like spending money on myself unless it's a drink.
29. I love wrestling with my girls to the point where they start to cry.
30. I like being at home and just hanging out with my family.
31. I love softball and football but never get a chance to play it.
32. I love country music.
33. I love playing any game, mostly cards. We don't play often enough.
34. I hate eating out and seeing my money being thrown away and we are trying to stop.
35. I use to love eating raw eggs.
36. I have never had a ticket. My wife calls me the Safety Kid because I remember all of the driver's ed. rules.
37. I failed the written test 3 times. Not good at testing.
38. I took Hunter's safety and I've never been hunting.
39. I love oysters, kipper snacks and pickled herring.
40. I wear either flip flops or slippers. Rain, sleet, sun or snow.
41. I love to BBQ from kabobs to pork ribs to a delicious bloody steak.
42. I'm obsessed with my wife. I love everything about her. (except for her forgetfulness and her Sunday mornings. )
43. I am the worst speller and use spell check religiously. I call my wife from work asking her how to spell things (Sometimes even at two in the morning.)
44. I love to dance and I have put my foot through many walls. Don't ask..
45. Who knew that I would land such an attractive, sweet wife? I've always considered myself very lucky, I feel there are a handful of people that can compete with the love and happiness we bring to each other. We are each other's best friends and if I could I'd spend every waking hour with her.
46. I love lasagna, homemade spaghetti that I make, sherbet ice cream, Emily's chicken enchiladas, pizza, Chinese food, and almost all seafood. I am addicted to pickles. I'm not too picky.
47. I hate when people ramble on and on, especially at work.
48. I hate meetings. From church to work. Most of them are pointless and not much ever gets accomplished. (it's mostly all talk, it would be great if there was some action).
49. I love testimony meeting. Me and my wife usually make fun of all of the speakers.
50. I'm very irreverent in sacrament meeting. I usually make my wife laugh by making most of the hymns perverted while we are singing. (remember the birth one, Em?)
51. I love my wife's family's weird words like reesh and heowes. We've made up a few of our own.
52. I hate attention. I don't like thank yous. It makes me feel too self-conscious.
53. I am a debater and can twist most of what my wife says back on her.
54. I'm not much of a yeller. Me and my wife have never had a yelling match. I think she slammed the door on me once.
55. My weakness is chips and I beg my wife not to buy them.
56. I don't crave chocolate or ice cream.
57. I love gummy candies.
58. I like soft smooth blankets, not the one's that snag your feet.
59. I have the worst heels, next to my father-in-law.
60. I have many nervous ticks. We won't get into those now.
61. I will not drink out of a cup from any one's house unless I have to.
62. I am a major germaphobe.
63. I love lemon meringue pie.
64. I love Thanksgiving and cooking turkey's.
65. My wife and I have an inside joke that has been going on for seven years. It's something we say to each other.
66. I love Coke and Mt. Dew. I will not put one over the other.
67. I will not buy a pop in a two-liter because that requires a cup.
68. I love whole milk and will sneak a glass of the girl's once in awhile.
70. I will not drink water out of the tap.
71. I love The Office. Kevin is my favorite.
72. I have a terrible fear of heights.
73. I went on my first roller coaster last year and I will never do it again.
74. I did the Ladybug drop and will never do that again.
75. I love scary movies.
76. I think my biggest fear is bee's and I'm not even allergic to them. I have been stung twice.
77. My favorite number is 25 because it is five, five times.
78. My nails grow freakishly quick and they are extremely hard. I have to clip them at least twice a week.
79. I didn't get chest hair until I was 21.
80. I can grow facial hair in patches.
81. I cut my own hair. I will not pay money to get it cut. Unless it is bikini cuts. KIDDING... my wife can wear a bikini for free.
82. Every time I go to a movie I have to have a large Coke. I don't know why but it seems to taste better than anywhere else.
83. I'm a big worrier.
84. I stress easily and I hate talking about finances with my wife.
85. I like acting like a dork in public and embarrassing my wife.
86. I love naps but don't take them nearly enough, which is never.
87. I'm always yelling at Haley and Karly to get stuff for me. Sometimes the remote is just on the floor and I don't want to bend over to pick it up.
88. I'm very protective of my girls and will not let them in the front yard by themselves, ever.
89. I'm a bit of a hypochondriac and always think the worst when I get sick but I never say anything or go to the doctor.
90. I have had shingles twice.
91. I got food poisoning from Panda, but I still love it.
92. Billy Joel's "Uptown Girl" was my favorite song when I was a kid.
93. I went to L. A. on my mission.
94. I love most Garth Brooks songs but I'd say my other favorites are Alan Jackson, and Tim Mcgraw.
95. One of my favorite older country songs is Fishing in the dark.
96. I dislike pretty much all other music.
97. I think the people that are closest to me are Emily, my kids, Ben, and Abbey.
98. I secretly wish that Jack would come home. I miss that little wiener.
99. I really want a truck. Hint, hint, Em.
100. Life is pretty great right now and my family brings me a lot of happiness.

This is me

I am Jake, I have been married to the same beautiful wife for the past 7 years (and believe it or not she still laughs at my jokes). I still don't know why a sexy sweet woman as herself, settled for a loner dork of a man (one of life's great mysteries).
I am a production worker and probably will be until I reach that goal they call retirement. The way I see it Hexcel is my life and my family is my hobby (if I like it or not). Some things you might not know about me is that I Love my Job and I Love my Family, the difference is I get sick of my job, but I could spend every moment with my family. I still love ketchup but not nearly as much as I use to, now my new love is salsa(the hotter the better). I love working out and being in large groups of people, I love dancing, reading romance novels, and watching the notebook with a tear in my eye (ok, that last little bit may not be true, I don't dance). I love driving, but I hate drivers, I love the Internet, but hate computers. I love a beautiful home, but Hate projects (they always seem to cost more and take longer then expected). I hate the Charmin bears, but I Love toilet paper (which never seems to be where its supposed to). I really enjoy fishing and being outdoors. I listen to country music and drive a mini van. I can be a little OCD and have weird quirks that I do that drives my wife crazy. I have 4 women in the house, a dog who is neutered and if my wife has her way I will be soon enough, so pretty much a house full of women (someone please save me) just a joke I love my girlssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.
Well, I think that's enough to digest for now. Live life, laugh hard and don't take your self too seriously.
Jake